I talk myself almost continually on some days. I sometimes convince myself that I am a cute boy. So yes.
2. Talked to an ex?
Nope, not really.
3. Missed someone?
I miss people all the time every day, whilst at the same time being quite a solitary man. I am nothing if not an enigma. Last person who:
4. Laid in bed with you.
I suppose that would be Abi. I've sat on beds with people since but I think the implication in the word laid is slightly different here. I would just like to point out at this juncture that I told myself at 6:30 that I wouldn't have a cigarette until 7:15. It is now 7:15. Welcome to Boomtown, population: Me.
5. Made you cry.
Myself, the other day when I stepped on an upturned three point plug. Right into the soft fleshy centre of my foot. It was more confused tears rolling down my face than burying my face into a pillow and kicking my legs against the bed screaming "WHY!?", though.
6. You went to the movies with.
It's just occurred to me that, after writing about how I was allowing myself to have a cigarette, I didn't actually have one. Weird. But yeah, the last person I went to the cinema with was probably Charlotte in about 2006. We were stuck for things to do on a rainy day in Ipswich, as I recall.
7. You kissed.
Depends, really. I can get quite kissy when I'm in a good mood. So the last person I kissed on the cheek in a friendly way was probably Chloe. The last person I kissed in a romantic way would have been Abi.
8. You had lunch with.
I think it was Laura, in the Penny. I had an ultimately disappointing beer / burger deal. I still need to go and eat at the Foundry, mind - seen far too many amazing looking foods in there to not just do it.
9. Made you laugh.
Andy, my housemate. He was describing some disgusting Eastern European pornography that he had been given by the man who sells him dodgy cigarettes. It involved fishing weights. To be honest, I was laughing more out of fear than humour. I dislike the word flaps.
10. Told you they loved you.
Ronnie Warner. On Thursday evening, he pulled me close and whispered it sweetly but firmly into my ear. I'm not entirely sure he meant it, but I do have my suspicions. Saying that, since I answered this question I have spoken to my mother on the phone, who also told me she loved me because that is her job.
Random questions that didn't have a heading on the original survey:
11. Does anybody like you right now?
Depends what you mean by like, really. I think a fair few people like me as a friend, although I am a lot less popular than I once was. I don't think anyone likes me in a sexytimes way.
12. Do you like being around people?
Yes and no. I'm a contrary bitch - I like being around people who I feel I know well enough to be able to relax around, but large groups of strangers either make into an overbearing cunt or make me retract entirely into my shell and be the most boring man alive.
13. When will your next kiss be?
Probably sooner than I think and longer than you think. Or something. I don't bloody know, do I? I don't keep a diary for these sorts of things - I keep a diary for bitching about people in!
14. What song do you have stuck in your head?
Runaway by Del Shannon.
15. Have you ever been on radio, or television?
Yep! Loads! I was most recently on Eggheads, though. It pops up on iPlayer occasionally; I never notice but people tend to inform me and begin to take the piss immediately.
16. What colour shirt are you wearing?
It's sort of a light purple, with the Atari logo on it. I am so fucking cool it's untrue.
17. Is anything pissing you off?
A couple of week ago I was chewing on a pen and cracked my tooth. I've had sporadic bouts of toothache since then, one of which is currently pissing me off fairly massively.
18. What time is it?
19. How much cash do you have on you?
About fifty pounds, give or take a couple of quid.
20. What's your favourite food?
Plain penne pasta with cheese. I am a man of simple, yet awesome tastes.
21. Who got you to join Facebook?
I honestly don't know. I would suppose that all my friends had it back in early 2006 and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I'll hop on any social networking bandwagon going though, I've had a profile on pretty much everything. Except Faceparty. Never Faceparty.
22. Can you lay in your bed all day?
Fuck aye! I end up getting bored shitless, but you have to push through that and come out at numb and relaxed. This is made easier if I have easy access to wine.
23. Do you ever wish someone was laying next to you when you woke up?
I am man enough to admit that I really do miss it sometimes.
24. What websites do you visit the most?
Google Chrome keeps a track of this, so let's see... Facebook, Twitter, BBC Sport Football, BBC News, Youtube, NOTBBC, 420Chan Wrestling Boards. Seems about right.
25. Do you have any plants in your room?
No, although I might. I'd quite like a splash of colour in here.
26. Who was the last person you spoke to?
Andy, about the new shower head that he'd purchased. It is thin and shiny - I approve.
A Section Labelled, Threateningly, "SECRETS!!!1".
27. What is your display name about?
I've had it for so long that I honestly can't remember. I know I used to make up a different explanation every time someone asked me, I worry that some of those have become confused with the truth in my head. I think I just discovered the word and quite liked it one day - it's been part of my display names for over 10 years now.
28. Where was your profile picture taken?
In the Beer Cart Arms, about a week ago. Greg had filled my drink with sweets and cigarettes. In exasperation I added my glasses, then decided that it actually summed me up almost perfectly.
29. If someone told you how they felt, would you listen?
Of course I would. I may not be able to give the best advice, but I'd certainly listen.
30. What's your favourite colour?
I just spent far too long thinking about this. I don't think I have one, which might possibly be weird. I used to say green, just because I like walking barefoot on warm grass. That's not really a reason.
31. What's your most valued possession?
The silver bangle I wear around my left wrist. It was given to me by my parents for my 18th birthday and I don't think I've ever taken it off since.
32. Any upcoming events you're excited about?
My life is like one of those Pirate ships you get at the fair. It swings wildly between mind numbing tedium and heart-racing excitement. I have work tomorrow, a night of work that I think will be very hard. I have Wednesday off and no concrete plans, so I expect mind numbing tedium. I have band practice and work on Thursday. I have Friday off. I have work Saturday and Sunday. Then I am going to Wales for a week of absolutely nothing.
Except, I thought it was absolutely nothing. Turns out the head Engineer has had to pull out of my Father's festival because his mother is sick, so my week's holiday is now looking more and more like a week of twelve hour working days. Nuts.
33. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
I think the largest was around 8 to 9,000. So yeah, I guess so.
34. Do you drink alcohol?
I've been known to dabble, yeah. Have cut down a bit recently, though. Believe it or not.
35. What hurts right now?
My fucking tooth. A lot of people mock the way I pronounce the word tooth, but those people are both wrong and racists.
36. Where did you last sleep, other than your house?
I had a power nap on the sofa at work a few weeks ago. Was excellent.
37. Do you have a best friend?
I think so, yeah.
38. Do you smoke?
Far, far too much. It annoys me sometimes, other times I just fucking love smoking.
39. Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
40. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
41. What are you listening to right now?
A playlist of 50's/60's/Justfuckingcool music that I made on Friday night whilst maudlin and slightly drunk. Heard It Through The Grapvine by Marvin Gaye has just turned into You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon. I am excellent.
42. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
It's very obvious, but eyes. Eyes, hands and shoes.
43. Where do you keep your money?
Spread between my wallet, my pockets, my window ledge, a tub of spare change and my bag.
44. Do you like someone right now?
I like lots of people. I'm a nice guy.
45. Who was the last person to call you beautiful?
I don't know. I'm not really the sort of person who is considered beautiful at first glance. I'd guess that it would be Abi, then.
46. Ever had a sleepover with the opposite sex?
47. Where did your last hug take place?
In a car. It was uncomfortable.
48. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
I've changed clothes in the back of a van a fucking lot.
49. Do you have unlimited texts?
I certainly do.
50. Do you wear glasses?
I have done since I was 10, every day of my life. If you've ever seen me when I've lost my glasses first thing in the morning then you know what an issue I have without them. I once had to text a friend asking her to come over and find them in my bedroom one morning - she found them delicately slid inside a pair of my pants. It wasn't my finest hour.
51. What's the easiest way to win your heart?
I don't know. Pick any of the following depending on my mood: Be genuinely nice to me. Put up with me. Outwit me. Don't set me on fire. Buy me a drink. Don't try too hard. Give me some bubbles and not find my love of them weird. Casually hold my hand. Find me an owl / penguin / puppy and let me play with it.
52. How was your weekend?
Up and down, as always. Much more good than bad, though.
53. What're you like when you're drunk?
Either maudlin and a bit of a cunt or amazing and fun. Or somewhere in between. It all depends on company and context.
52. Last text message received?
53. Do you swear a lot?
Yeah, sometimes far too much. I'd like to cut down but I also know I'm dexterous enough with my vocabulary for it not to really matter.
54. What are you going to do tomorrow?
10ish hours of hard work for good money.